Episode 15
Episode 15: Random Access Memories
Book gets a one-on-one chat with Hickory, while Ocean recognizes more than he expects as he explores the premises.
This one is mostly a Lockpicking Lawyer fancast.
Transcript
Welcome to Oops!
Speaker:All Apocalypses, a show where we explore the collapse of society by playing fun, tabletop role-playing games.
Speaker:I'm here with two ghosts.
Speaker:Oh, yeah, sorry, boo.
Speaker:Jacob's in it, Jacob's fucking locked in.
Speaker:I'm crept in ready.
Speaker:God damn.
Speaker:My dog is attacking me right now.
Speaker:I'd be offended if he didn't.
Speaker:Hey everybody, I'm Brady, and I play Book McCready, a kind and nitpicky sleuth who has been acting less kind and less nitpicky as we go along.
Speaker:He's still pretty nitpicky.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:Just less kind, less kind.
Speaker:He's a mean detective now.
Speaker:He's all gruff.
Speaker:He's got stubble from two days of building a through the earth communicator.
Speaker:And I am Jacob, and I'm playing...
Speaker:I almost said Stu there.
Speaker:I said, I'm Jacob, and I'm playing Stu.
Speaker:Get him and drag him.
Speaker:I'm Jacob, and I'm playing Ocean, a gentle giant who should probably not be a lawyer, judging by our last episode.
Speaker:I just wanted to say before we got started that last episode when we got into the courtroom and it was situated like a courtroom with the jury, I really thought that we were going to get tried for throwing shovels into people's chest cavities.
Speaker:Oh shit, I actually did not consider that.
Speaker:I was like, I feel like I should have considered that.
Speaker:We walked into a trap here.
Speaker:I would have let you guys just like do a trial for like what you wanted.
Speaker:I would let you be as official as you want to be.
Speaker:Like if you stood up and you're like, I'm just a small town country lawyer, I would have just gone.
Speaker:Well, I said your honor and then you're like, you don't need to do that.
Speaker:And I was like, okay, got it.
Speaker:Not a trial.
Speaker:I think he said, thank you.
Speaker:He said, thank you for the honorific, but that's really not necessary.
Speaker:Wrong voice.
Speaker:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker:I was doing more of a pistachio.
Speaker:That was a Vesuvius.
Speaker:That was a Vesuvius too, back in, back when Vesuvius was actually Vesuvius.
Speaker:But now he talks like, hey, sport.
Speaker:No, I think you're wrong entirely.
Speaker:I was like, both of those are completely wrong.
Speaker:Listen, I might have that thing where you can't do voices.
Speaker:What was, what did you call it, Jacob?
Speaker:Oh, the thing where you can't recognize voices.
Speaker:Oh shit.
Speaker:I forgot.
Speaker:I think the other problem is that all of these voices are done by Stu.
Speaker:So like, they're all just variations of Stu, which makes it hard to tell like, what is Stu and what is character.
Speaker:Well, new Vesuvius is like, proper Southern gentleman from Jojo.
Speaker:While old Vesuvius was like, hey man, what you doing?
Speaker:I was about to say, old Vesuvius was like white trash.
Speaker:Oh, that's why it liked him better.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:All right, ask us why we are following.
Speaker:Not yet, because we have two very exciting announcements.
Speaker:One is my computer is broken completely, so who knows when people will actually get to hear this.
Speaker:I'm recording on my laptop right now.
Speaker:So sorry about all that.
Speaker:Two is we've reached over 1000 downloads.
Speaker:Probably a few weeks ago by the time anyone's hearing this, very unfortunate timing, but now we got to do some cool stuff.
Speaker:Hey, congrats to us and congrats to the listeners for listening.
Speaker:The real winners here are all 1000 people listening because each person downloaded it one time, right?
Speaker:Uh-oh.
Speaker:And stopped listening immediately after.
Speaker:This week, our question to fall in love with Book and Ocean is, if you could wake up tomorrow and have any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Speaker:Oh, if he could have any ability, if he could wake up tomorrow with any ability, I think it would be, I don't know, like chess skills.
Speaker:Because I think I don't think Book is good at chess, but I think he wants to be.
Speaker:Is that a shitty answer?
Speaker:No, that's not shitty.
Speaker:So he knows what chess is?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Has he played?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I think he played against his dad, and he always got trounced by his dad.
Speaker:And I think that was like a huge deterrent for him because he was like, oh, I just suck at this and I'm never going to get better.
Speaker:He stopped trying.
Speaker:I can see that.
Speaker:Why does he want that skill?
Speaker:Is it just something he's not good at or is it useful?
Speaker:Because then when he finds his dad, he'd be like, I fucking beat you now.
Speaker:And then also, yeah, it's just a good way to sort of like, it's a good adversarial thing to do, like to sit across from someone and be like, be able to study them and how they think and that sort of thing.
Speaker:It's just, you know, whatever.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:It's stupid.
Speaker:No, you should have just been more confident in your answer.
Speaker:Book wants some chess.
Speaker:And Ocean, what quality or ability would you like?
Speaker:Ocean would like to have a stronger personality and be more persuasive and talkative.
Speaker:One thing he would be more talkative, less more outgoing, less introspective.
Speaker:And I'm sure our listeners would also like you to have all of those qualities.
Speaker:I would like to make a slight addendum to my answer.
Speaker:I'll allow it.
Speaker:So if you asked Book that question, that is what he would say.
Speaker:But secretly, deep down, he also would like some just a modicum of athletic ability.
Speaker:Like to be able to do like one pull up.
Speaker:I wish that too, Book, if it makes you feel better.
Speaker:I wish that too.
Speaker:And mine would be either getting perfect pitch or laser eyes.
Speaker:One of the two.
Speaker:What would you do with laser eyes?
Speaker:You're numerous foes.
Speaker:Nah, perfect pitch would be definitely what I'd go for.
Speaker:Apparently some people can like learn it from a very young age, but they've proven that some people can't.
Speaker:There's a lot of conflicting information about it.
Speaker:So I don't know why I'm talking about it.
Speaker:My parents screwed me from the start then.
Speaker:I think there are some people who could genuinely never learn perfect pitch.
Speaker:I'm sure some people can learn perfect pitch, but I think there's some people like.
Speaker:Yeah, once that pie has been cooked, I don't think anyone's able to really learn it.
Speaker:No, I mean, like as a child, like I think some children probably have the ability to learn it and some don't.
Speaker:Like a couple of my cousins are 100 percent tone deaf and just cannot, like they can't match a note to save them.
Speaker:My problem is I'm not tone deaf, but I can't sing.
Speaker:So it's just torture anytime I try and sing because I can hear myself.
Speaker:And I'm like, oh my God, that's so off.
Speaker:You just got to hone that in on not seeing related things, just like do do do's in the background or beatboxing or scatting.
Speaker:And with that, no Stu, we're still having fun.
Speaker:Previously, we had a nice courtroom drama with objections and evidence and all that fun stuff where Book and Ocean were trying to convince Hickory to come to Subtropolis to help with their Crandle problem, or maybe make a video, or maybe just send some people down to help.
Speaker:I just want to make a slight adjustment to that, which is that Book and Ocean don't actually care if they get a recording of Hickory.
Speaker:They just wanted to get him in a room alone with them.
Speaker:And the episode ended with Book walking into Hickory's judge's chamber, Hickory flicking on a light, and Book noticing that there was a gun pointed directly at him.
Speaker:So I see, I look down, or I look forward, and I see the gun pointed at my chest, and I also see a pair of chairs, I assume, in front of that desk that he's standing behind, and I grab the back of one chair and I pull it out, and I sit down slowly so that the gun is now pointed at my head, and I say...
Speaker:So you're being suave here.
Speaker:You try not to let them know that you're trying not to express any kind of fear.
Speaker:Well, I got plus two cool.
Speaker:I got plus two cool.
Speaker:So I'm playing a cool under pressure.
Speaker:And I say, listen, Hickory, I know that we haven't seen eye to eye on a lot of things, but hearing you talk about my parents, like, I didn't realize how that you felt betrayed by them, too.
Speaker:And I guess we've never talked about it before, but like, they left me too.
Speaker:And so when you do you talk about me following in their footsteps, like, I mean, that's not who I am.
Speaker:I'm still here and I'm still here for a reason.
Speaker:And I just want to say that like them leaving they that hurt me too.
Speaker:And I know that it I know now that it hurt you.
Speaker:And I'm sorry.
Speaker:And I use compassionate presence.
Speaker:Give me that role.
Speaker:12.
Speaker:So you have to tell me two things.
Speaker:You have to tell me if they are ashamed of something they've done.
Speaker:And if they're holding on to pain.
Speaker:What are the physical reactions to those two things?
Speaker:They they they blur to both out.
Speaker:You're you're right.
Speaker:Your parents, they did hurt me.
Speaker:We had something here.
Speaker:We were building something greater than any of us had ever seen before.
Speaker:And your stupid father just did not understand that.
Speaker:And he kept wanting more.
Speaker:He kept wanting more exciting things.
Speaker:And he took your mom away.
Speaker:She was doing important work here that we've not been able to recover from this whole time.
Speaker:And maybe sometimes that makes me treat you a little worse, but you're doing fine.
Speaker:I can tell you want to get out of here just as much as your dad did.
Speaker:I don't want to get out of here.
Speaker:I want to find them.
Speaker:So you're going to bring them back.
Speaker:I always thought they were going to come back on their own to get me, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen.
Speaker:So, yeah, I mean, maybe.
Speaker:Do you actually believe that?
Speaker:I think it depends on where Book finds them.
Speaker:Like, if he finds them on the surface and it's a fucking wasteland, then yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:Should you be making a lie to him role right now?
Speaker:I don't.
Speaker:I think it's more nuanced than that.
Speaker:Maybe it, um, maybe a lie roll with advantage because it's not really a lie.
Speaker:No, just give me a sways and one roll.
Speaker:And what do I roll for that?
Speaker:Sharp?
Speaker:Cool.
Speaker:Cool.
Speaker:Ten.
Speaker:He doesn't put his gun away, but he leans it down on the table in front of him like it's still in his hand.
Speaker:And he goes, you clearly know a lot that you're not telling me and or they didn't feel comfortable saying back in that courtroom.
Speaker:So I want you to tell me absolutely everything.
Speaker:I'm willing to do that.
Speaker:I also, um, yeah, let's let's do that first.
Speaker:Can Ocean come in just so he can be a part of this conversation?
Speaker:Well, he was going to have a fun adventure on his own, but he can come.
Speaker:Um, no, that's okay then.
Speaker:I just, he hasn't heard all of this and I just figured it'd be helpful for us to all be on the same page, but that's okay.
Speaker:Um, so basically, let me ask you this question first.
Speaker:Have you encountered anyone recently whose voice sounded entirely different to how you remembered their voice sounding?
Speaker:Nope.
Speaker:Not a thing I've seen or heard.
Speaker:So listen, up until very recently, I hadn't either, but the last time we went to Crandall's, we met a guy.
Speaker:And he was very nice and he sounded, he had a very specific voice that we remember really well, we being Ocean and I, and we told him a lie, which was that we lived at a made up place called the Precipice.
Speaker:And because we didn't want him to be able to follow us back to where we live, because Crandall's dangerous.
Speaker:And nevertheless, the next time we were in Subtropolis, he was at the bottom of our switchbacks.
Speaker:And this time he sounded completely different.
Speaker:And I'm going to tell you some things about what happened before then that are going to sound super fucking crazy.
Speaker:But I promise you that it's real.
Speaker:And I relayed to him the story about the monster in the sewers.
Speaker:I tell him basically everything, including like the wolves and waking up in the hospital and about the dead body that was there.
Speaker:But I don't want to.
Speaker:Is there anything you're leaving out they don't know?
Speaker:That's what's important.
Speaker:Or I'm going to assume you tell him everything.
Speaker:And this isn't me trying to trick you or anything.
Speaker:It's just.
Speaker:Yeah, I do think we should probably leave out the fact that we went down there to find the TTE.
Speaker:I just feel like that could bite us.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So just basically just our experience like me finding the body going down like all that.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to leave out the TTE.
Speaker:While you're regaling him with that tale of adventure and possible death, we're going to jump back over to Ocean.
Speaker:You see Book go into this room and the door closes quietly behind him.
Speaker:And the rest of the courtroom just kind of slowly starts filtering out.
Speaker:People don't seem to know exactly what to do.
Speaker:Most of them start leaving.
Speaker:Pistachio Jones moves up to kind of where Hickory was sitting before and just kind of leans against it.
Speaker:And then Vesuvius walks up to you.
Speaker:Hey, well, I don't want to tell tales out of school, but is it just me or is Book acting a little strange?
Speaker:I think Ocean does think Book is acting a little strange.
Speaker:We've been pretty busy and lately busy and staying up pretty late and not been getting much sleep.
Speaker:So I figured it was just that.
Speaker:But I mean, yeah, he's seems a little off.
Speaker:Yeah, he seemed much more friendly when we met the first time.
Speaker:And, you know, it always just seems a little uneasy around me now.
Speaker:And I don't know what I did.
Speaker:And I must admit, I feel a little bit betrayed by both of you to come and talk about Crandall and talk about what I said to my new employer without mentioning it to me.
Speaker:First, like, if you want to go in there and figure out what he's doing, like, I'm the man with the inside knowledge.
Speaker:Or do you not trust me?
Speaker:It's not that we don't trust you.
Speaker:I apologize.
Speaker:We probably should have come and talk to you.
Speaker:But I just figured you being the one that all of this is coming from, where all of our suspicions with Crandall was kind of the source of it all.
Speaker:I figured with you being present and going to Hickory, that he would be more suspicious of you.
Speaker:And we're trying to keep that on the down low.
Speaker:You know, we don't want anyone suspicious of you.
Speaker:We just you got to keep in mind, Hamlet Openings are home.
Speaker:We just want what's best for it.
Speaker:Yeah, no, I appreciate it.
Speaker:And it's not like I would have been jumping to go back to see Crandall or anything like that.
Speaker:I just felt very blindsided when they came and picked me up and I had to go talk about Crandall in front of a big audience like that.
Speaker:And I feel like there was some words getting put in my mouth, and I really don't like hearing words come out of my mouth that are not my own.
Speaker:What do you mean by that?
Speaker:You said that I thought what Crandall was actually like dangerous and a threat to this town, which I do not think is true.
Speaker:Like, he's been a little weird lately, and I don't think we need some form of expeditionary force to go stop him.
Speaker:He's just collecting new things.
Speaker:They just didn't align with what I like.
Speaker:Like, I was happy when I got that shower.
Speaker:I was with all different heads and such.
Speaker:But when I come back with a box of wires and beeps and boops and gizmos, I'm like, what are we going to do with this?
Speaker:That's why I left.
Speaker:Did he ever tell you anything about what he was doing?
Speaker:No, it didn't seem to bring him joy either.
Speaker:Like, most of the stuff we used to get must have been for some other reason, but I do not know what it is.
Speaker:I told you we would just get these print offs sometimes from a computer that would give us schematics and tell us exactly what we were supposed to get and the coordinates where it was located.
Speaker:We would just follow those.
Speaker:But yeah, like when we brought it back, he did not clap and laugh with rapturous glee like he did when we'd get his brink machines.
Speaker:Oh, it was cool, weird, our collections.
Speaker:He said he would get print schematics.
Speaker:Does Crandall answer to somebody else?
Speaker:I don't think so.
Speaker:He could.
Speaker:I don't know who could be above him because he's at the very top of the penthouse.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:Quite the elevator getting up to speak to him.
Speaker:Well, I apologize.
Speaker:I think we may have misconstrued some of the things you told us.
Speaker:We're a little bit, a little suspicious being, you know, working out in the dark like that.
Speaker:I understand you have experienced many of the horrors of the Maelstrom.
Speaker:You are lucky that you have survived.
Speaker:You want to see my place, Robin Stan?
Speaker:Yeah, let's go take a look.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Out of character, out of character.
Speaker:I'm just trying to talk to Book Maelstrom.
Speaker:We never mentioned Brady Brady.
Speaker:We've never mentioned the Maelstrom to him, right?
Speaker:Have we?
Speaker:No, we need to.
Speaker:We need to figure out why he's bringing it up.
Speaker:OK, all right.
Speaker:Are you going to are you going to leave a note or anything so that book doesn't run into?
Speaker:That's a great idea.
Speaker:Ocean kind of nods like, yeah, sure, I'd love to see where you're staying.
Speaker:Hold on one second.
Speaker:Let me let me let me write something out for Book here.
Speaker:You can't write.
Speaker:You can't even read.
Speaker:Hold on, let me let me pass.
Speaker:The pistachio is there.
Speaker:You could definitely tell pistachio whatever you want.
Speaker:Hey, pistachio.
Speaker:Burp.
Speaker:When when.
Speaker:I just imagine looking very frog like.
Speaker:I don't know why.
Speaker:When Book comes out of here, just just tell him to meet up at the usual spot.
Speaker:Yeah, if he comes out here.
Speaker:I'll get ready to.
Speaker:I sure hope he does.
Speaker:I hope that book.
Speaker:I hope that book knows which.
Speaker:Should I believe him?
Speaker:What do you think?
Speaker:OK, let me just.
Speaker:I'm not going to change.
Speaker:I'm not going to change anything else.
Speaker:But what do you think the usual spot is?
Speaker:Honestly, I think the usual spot is your place.
Speaker:OK.
Speaker:But maybe I'm not going to say nothing, because I already said it.
Speaker:I already had in mind where we're going to be.
Speaker:Because it could it could also be the broken leg or the soggy worm, but I'm pretty sure it's just your place.
Speaker:Vesuvius leads you back past that courtyard where you're at before, where he was doing target practice.
Speaker:It opens a door in the back of the courthouse, and you see there is like a small plaza back there.
Speaker:This whole courthouse is in fenced, so you guys probably haven't gotten a great look at what's back here, and especially since the building in the front is like very large, it pretty much obstructs what's happening in this area back here.
Speaker:Actually, give me a read-a-situation.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:That's a seven.
Speaker:Read-a-sitch.
Speaker:Ask me one of those questions.
Speaker:To frame it to help with your question, you come outside and you see there are a few different buildings back here that all look like they have some more useful purpose, and then there's one that is clearly just like a barracks.
Speaker:It's pretty nondescript, bare bones.
Speaker:You see a couple of people just like sitting out around it, and it looks like he's leading you in that direction.
Speaker:And then I can give you more info based on your role.
Speaker:What should I be on the lookout for?
Speaker:That's an interesting one.
Speaker:Fake Suvius.
Speaker:I don't know why you guys hate him so much.
Speaker:It's not that we hate him, it's just something's going on here.
Speaker:Something suspicious and it's eating us alive.
Speaker:It's a mystery and Book is obsessed with such things.
Speaker:So he's leading you back towards that nondescript building that's clearly going to be a barracks, as he told you he's going to bring you.
Speaker:It does not seem like this is some sort of trap or any dangerous thing.
Speaker:There are other people just chilling out, pretty chill vibes here.
Speaker:There is a building that is mixed in with some of the more industrial buildings.
Speaker:There's a lot that have those pulley down doors, like a storage unit.
Speaker:Is there a name for that?
Speaker:No, like a garage door.
Speaker:There's got to be a name for that, like metal play down.
Speaker:Like a bay door, not a bay door.
Speaker:A bay door?
Speaker:A bay door is also another thing, though.
Speaker:Yeah, so bay doors are like...
Speaker:So bay doors, there's like a door that is in the style of a bay door, which is, I think, when you have basically two doors side by side, I think.
Speaker:But that's not what it is.
Speaker:But I think there's also doors to a bay.
Speaker:A segmented metal door that rolls.
Speaker:Like a rolling door.
Speaker:Like a dry dock door.
Speaker:The driest of doors.
Speaker:And you see there is one building that has a suspicious number of braided wires coming out of it and going under the fence.
Speaker:And it has by far the most advanced looking security on it, where you see there's like a little key card place and a keypad on the door.
Speaker:Numeric keypad.
Speaker:While all the other ones have like shitty half-eaten rusted padlocks.
Speaker:But right now, that door is held ajar by a brick.
Speaker:But he's leading you not towards that.
Speaker:That's like a little out of the way.
Speaker:He's leading you towards his barracks.
Speaker:Stu, would you describe that building as like maybe like a lighthouse?
Speaker:It looks nothing like a lighthouse.
Speaker:Is there, can I see anything as I'm walking by, just looking over at it?
Speaker:Can I see anything from underneath the door where the brick is in place?
Speaker:Yeah, sure.
Speaker:As you're walking by, you can kind of get like one moment where you can get a pretty good glimpse inside that room.
Speaker:And it is pretty much pitch black.
Speaker:But I always forget everything is pitch black down here on the ground.
Speaker:There's a bunch of lights here in the background illuminating the whole back, but ample illumination.
Speaker:But it's pretty pitch black in that room.
Speaker:But you see a bunch of servers and little lights flashing on them, illuminated from inside.
Speaker:And you just barely get a glimpse of these, like one server act, which you've probably seen some stuff like that before in your plundering.
Speaker:You may not know what it is, but it's cool, flashy tech.
Speaker:I'm gonna motion towards Vesuvius and be like, hey, Vesuvius, what's under there?
Speaker:No, I don't know.
Speaker:I've never been inside that room.
Speaker:Want to check it out?
Speaker:Sure, why not?
Speaker:He just stops leading you towards where he's going and he leads you in that direction.
Speaker:And he goes, Hell yeah.
Speaker:Oh, excellent.
Speaker:This door is already open.
Speaker:And he just walks in.
Speaker:Not even a sway roll.
Speaker:Nope, nothing.
Speaker:And he leads you in and you see there's this full server room with racks on racks more than you would have thought.
Speaker:No one's in here right now.
Speaker:It actually seems pretty dusty.
Speaker:Like people don't come in too frequently.
Speaker:You hear a couple annoying alarms like beeps every like three seconds.
Speaker:There's like a little beep.
Speaker:And there is a terminal hooked up to the side of these racks with a command line prompt with a little flashing cursor.
Speaker:God, if only I could write and read.
Speaker:I could do so much more here.
Speaker:Is there does it look like there's any letters on the little terminal prompt?
Speaker:Any screw anything I can like I know I can't read, but does it look like there's stuff written on it?
Speaker:Give me a try something challenging role.
Speaker:Try something challenging.
Speaker:I am now plus zero with that.
Speaker:So that's a three.
Speaker:That's a three.
Speaker:That's a bad rule.
Speaker:You see this thing here and it's just like squiggly letters on a screen and you kind of poke at the keyboard a little bit and something opens up.
Speaker:Just a random thing.
Speaker:They're pulling up.
Speaker:Didn't know what it was as you're pawing at this keyboard delicately.
Speaker:Ocean, did you try the key the combination from your?
Speaker:I know I don't.
Speaker:I didn't.
Speaker:I was just looking to see if there's any letters or words or anything on there.
Speaker:That would have been such a better idea.
Speaker:It's so dark in here, you can't really see the keyboard anyway, so you wouldn't have been able to really replicate that easily.
Speaker:But for some reason, when this thing opens, whatever you did to make it open, you kind of understand it.
Speaker:And it seems like, well, what it actually is, is software.
Speaker:It's code that someone's written.
Speaker:And for some reason, even though you can't read and you don't know what the words are, and there are very useful comments written on the side that you don't understand.
Speaker:For some reason, the logic of how the code works makes sense to you.
Speaker:Like you can understand that this is a class describing this.
Speaker:It's color coded.
Speaker:So you see the different colors and you're like, oh, I get it.
Speaker:The fact that I'm getting all this from a three makes me highly suspicious.
Speaker:If you got a natural 12, you would have immediately learned how to read.
Speaker:Oh, Lord.
Speaker:But you really do feel like you kind of get it.
Speaker:You're like, oh, this thing is calling this thing, but you don't know what it does.
Speaker:Like, it's weird and you don't understand why you know why.
Speaker:At first?
Speaker:Yeah, you definitely don't know what it does.
Speaker:You don't.
Speaker:You can't read the comments.
Speaker:But for some reason, you understand how code is constructed.
Speaker:That's actually kind of interesting.
Speaker:At first, I thought you were pulling my leg because, you know, sometimes when you roll a natural one in D&D, you make fun of people by...
Speaker:Yeah, you just lie to the players.
Speaker:But now what you're saying, like, is this actually part of something about the ocean's past?
Speaker:I'm still suspicious because it's a three, so I'm highly doubtful.
Speaker:Vesuvius, can you read?
Speaker:Yeah, you can't?
Speaker:No, no, it's a sore spot.
Speaker:Oh, sorry, I did not mean to offend you.
Speaker:I'm just surprised because you're so well spoken.
Speaker:And you are so articulate and clean, which is how Joseph Biden described Barack Obama in 2008.
Speaker:Oh, God.
Speaker:People forget about that because it's been a while.
Speaker:Jesus Christ.
Speaker:Well, do you know what this is saying, these comments on the screen here?
Speaker:Yeah, that's all I can read.
Speaker:I don't understand all these brackets and whatnot on the left.
Speaker:I've never seen a reason for a semicolon, and these people have them all over the damn place.
Speaker:Nearly every line I look at is a semicolon on the end.
Speaker:It doesn't make sense at all.
Speaker:But yeah, the comments here, it's very technical and detailed.
Speaker:I don't really know what they're talking about, but it seems like part of this are two people talking back and forth in the comments, like a conversation.
Speaker:Like maybe they're both updating the same documentation, and they're kind of bouncing back and forth on it.
Speaker:You should ask them if they're signed with a name.
Speaker:Is there like any names or any identifiers on there on who this could possibly be?
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:I'm not adept enough to be able to read the different dialects that are being used and assume they are two different people.
Speaker:It's not like one of them is using fun slang and the others very properly.
Speaker:Yeah, there's one signed by Zine Machine and the other is by Randy Candy.
Speaker:Nice.
Speaker:Randy Candy and Zine Machine.
Speaker:I'm writing that down.
Speaker:So Zine Machine is Book's mom.
Speaker:And Randy Candy.
Speaker:Zine Machine.
Speaker:I'm going to kind of like, God, I wish Book was here.
Speaker:I bet he could figure something about this out.
Speaker:Ocean is going to look around and let's see if we can put the garage door back in place and make it look like nobody's here, but leave it so that we can get back in.
Speaker:I must have not described it well.
Speaker:This one did not have a garage door.
Speaker:This one is...
Speaker:Oh, OK.
Speaker:I thought it was a garage door.
Speaker:Yeah, I focused on those other doors for quite a while there.
Speaker:So I'll let you know right now.
Speaker:I'm not going to be privy to whatever you're about to do to sabotage this door, but I'm just going to step out front and have a short smoke break.
Speaker:You can do whatever you want.
Speaker:Just watch out for me.
Speaker:I want to get Book back here at some point.
Speaker:If I cough very loudly, that means someone may or may not be coming or I had quite a cough.
Speaker:Thank you, Vesuvius.
Speaker:That's very helpful.
Speaker:And he walks out.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So I think what Ocean's going to do is try and find something.
Speaker:What kind of lock is it?
Speaker:There is a mechanical deadbolt that has all the fancy security stuff attached to it.
Speaker:And then there's also a shitty just doorknob lock that you can probably move with your thumb where the lock is facing inside.
Speaker:And the door itself is held open by a brick right now.
Speaker:Oh, okay.
Speaker:How can I disable this?
Speaker:Just hit it really hard.
Speaker:That actually works on most locks.
Speaker:I see you also watch Lockpicking Lawyer.
Speaker:I'm concerned about doing something that will cause an alarm to get set off.
Speaker:Fair enough.
Speaker:Let's see what I would like to do.
Speaker:And I know this is probably not something that is easy to pull off.
Speaker:But just in my mind, what I would like to do is make it so that when you can still twist the key and make it feel like you're locking it, but the deadbolt doesn't actually move.
Speaker:So that way, when they shut it, if they lock it with a deadbolt, they think it's locked, even though it's not actually locked.
Speaker:OK, give me a try something challenging.
Speaker:Try something challenging.
Speaker:OK, let's see if it's better than a fucking three this time.
Speaker:If you could have just described something that would have worked, I wouldn't have made you roll.
Speaker:But but with this level of nebulosity.
Speaker:Oh, that's an eight.
Speaker:With an eight, you can do this, but it's going to be found out at some point.
Speaker:Not right away.
Speaker:You'll have some time, maybe a day or two before someone notices something's wrong.
Speaker:But it's something that if someone looks close enough, they're definitely going to be able to figure out.
Speaker:There's something wrong with a lot.
Speaker:You're not doing it in a surreptitiously enough way.
Speaker:OK, yeah, I'm OK with that because yeah, I think basically he just wants it opened enough so that way he can bring Book back here at some point, hopefully decently soon, since there seems to be nobody's here right now.
Speaker:So what you're able to do is you're actually able to reach in.
Speaker:And even though this is very high tech security, the lock itself is a little old and weathered.
Speaker:So you're able to grip with your incredible strength.
Speaker:You're able to grip the deadbolt and actually rip out the metal part that comes in.
Speaker:So now the whole lot still works like you can turn a key in it and it moves.
Speaker:It'll feel lighter if someone's paying a lot of attention.
Speaker:They would be able to tell it turned way too easy, but the actual part that sticks out.
Speaker:Hell yeah.
Speaker:Well, I'm writing down Zine Machine and Randy Candy.
Speaker:Randy Candy.
Speaker:So Zine Machine is Book's mom, because his mom's name is Margaret, and she goes by Mags.
Speaker:And it's magazine McReady.
Speaker:That's so stupid.
Speaker:You came up with it.
Speaker:I know.
Speaker:You came up with it.
Speaker:So Zine Machine is his mom, but Randy Candy.
Speaker:So his dad goes by Charles Davis.
Speaker:Yeah, you would not think your dad is Randy Candy.
Speaker:That doesn't fit his vibe at all.
Speaker:But like Hickory Fleek might be Randy Candy.
Speaker:Was his mom cheating on his dad with Hickory?
Speaker:Wow, I would not tell you that, and I would probably not do that.
Speaker:But like, I agree with that, but Randy Candy, like Randy is another word for horny.
Speaker:I'm going to be thinking about that a lot.
Speaker:Okay, so we're back to me and Hickory.
Speaker:That's quite a series of events that went on.
Speaker:It gets weirder.
Speaker:You sure you're feeling alright?
Speaker:Oh no, I'm...
Speaker:Sounds like you basically died.
Speaker:No, I've been really...
Speaker:The last couple days have been rough.
Speaker:I've been really...
Speaker:I'll just say that my worldview maybe has shifted a little bit.
Speaker:It was...
Speaker:Things are out there that are even weirder than I thought, and it scares me.
Speaker:But the thing is, it gets weirder.
Speaker:So I did tell him about Vesuvius having a different voice already and everything.
Speaker:This is after you've regaled him with the whole story.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But I tell him...
Speaker:So the thing is, I think that Vesuvius...
Speaker:My best lead so far is that I think Vesuvius is the cheese monster that we fought in the sewers.
Speaker:And it doesn't make much sense at first glance.
Speaker:But the reason that I think that is because when we reached him, he had...
Speaker:Well, there's a couple of reasons.
Speaker:But one is that the main reason is that the two people that I know of, that this monster from the sewers attacked was me and the woman that it killed above, you know, that we found on the street.
Speaker:And it didn't eat her.
Speaker:There were no bite marks taken.
Speaker:It just killed her and left her.
Speaker:And it attacked me and it put its nails through my chest.
Speaker:And the only person that that woman and I knew in common was Vesuvius, and I guess Crandall, but I didn't, you know, really spend as much time with Crandall.
Speaker:I walked with Vesuvius for a while to get to Crandall's place.
Speaker:Anyway, the point is, is that if that monster was able to get information from us by attacking us, it would have gotten information about Vesuvius, and it also would have gotten information about where I'm from, which is maybe how it was able to find the switchbacks, even though I didn't tell Vesuvius actually where we lived.
Speaker:And the other thing is that it had my jerky, and when I met Vesuvius, he ate my jerky immediately, and he loved it, and he chewed it out.
Speaker:He put it on his mouth, and he chewed on it like it was chewing tobacco.
Speaker:And I don't think there would have been anything left after two weeks, but the monster from the sewers, I gave jerky, and it left it alone.
Speaker:And its face, I never saw it die.
Speaker:I saw it get attacked, but I never saw it die.
Speaker:And I'm wondering if it was able to transform, like with its soft, creepy, stretchy skin, and pick up the jerky that I left and come to where it knew that I lived because it had been inside my head and impersonate someone that I knew because it had information about that person from me, someone that I knew and someone who I trusted because it had information about that person from me and the other person attacked and was waiting there.
Speaker:And I don't even know what it wants, but it seems like from what I gathered from Vesuvius, from the person who's now claiming to be Vesuvius, is that it believes itself to be Vesuvius in every way.
Speaker:That's all I know.
Speaker:And that's why I want to go find out more.
Speaker:That seems like a bit of a leap to me.
Speaker:I don't get why some sewer dwelling monster would get benefit from walking around Hamlet opening.
Speaker:It seems more likely that you told a guy roughly where you lived and he was able to track you down.
Speaker:That's just not too surprising to me.
Speaker:The voice thing is weird.
Speaker:I admit that.
Speaker:But I feel like there's a lot of spurious connections you're making there.
Speaker:But again, I don't mind if you go check this out.
Speaker:I just don't think it's wise for me and my men to be in danger.
Speaker:This town can't be causing trouble with a warlord.
Speaker:I hear you.
Speaker:And the thing is, I agree with all of that, but what if we get down there and the real Vesuvius is still there?
Speaker:That'd be crazy.
Speaker:And what if we get down there and the real Crandall isn't there anymore?
Speaker:That would also be crazy.
Speaker:I'm sure if the real Vesuvius is down there, he would be very interested in whatever's walking around up here.
Speaker:You bring him back here and we can deal with this.
Speaker:We can figure out who the real one is, have a nice trial and adjudicate justice.
Speaker:It's just, Hickory, the last time I went down there alone, I died.
Speaker:Yeah, it's dangerous.
Speaker:That's why I don't send my men down there.
Speaker:Listen, I hear you.
Speaker:I say, how about this?
Speaker:It sounds like you...
Speaker:There's two things that I have that you might want, and there's two things that you have that I want.
Speaker:So I'd like to propose an exchange.
Speaker:I will take back what I said when I was on Johnny Hertz's radio at the town hall meeting tomorrow, and I will help you finish what you started with my mom if you send some folks with us into Subtropolis.
Speaker:I mean, even if it's just Pistachio and one other guy, just someone, even if it's just Pistachio, like I don't.
Speaker:Anyway, if you send some people with us into Subtropolis to investigate this and tell me everything that you know about my parents, why they left, what they were doing before they left.
Speaker:That's my offer.
Speaker:Give me a Sway-some-one roll.
Speaker:See, I rolled good before.
Speaker:It makes me think I'm probably going to roll bad.
Speaker:Yeah, that's how probability and statistics work, you know.
Speaker:Except that I didn't.
Speaker:I rolled an 11 because Book has plus two.
Speaker:I don't think you want Pistachio to go with you.
Speaker:He's not really a fighter type.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:But I think I can send a couple people to back you up.
Speaker:If shit goes down, they are going to leave.
Speaker:I'm going to tell them they are allowed to leave you there to die.
Speaker:They're not going to put their lives down for you.
Speaker:They're going to get out.
Speaker:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker:They'll at least be there as a show of force, though.
Speaker:I don't even, like, even if I go into Crandall's Place alone, just for the trip there and back would be plenty.
Speaker:Okay, yeah, I'll send two people with you.
Speaker:I'll send Randall Nerdrope.
Speaker:I'm kidding.
Speaker:Randall Nerdrope.
Speaker:I'd like them back pretty quickly.
Speaker:Wait, Randi Candy?
Speaker:Wait, if you combine that, that's Crandall.
Speaker:Randi plus Crandall.
Speaker:Randi plus Candy equals Crandall.
Speaker:Is it fucking Crandall?
Speaker:It's not Crandall.
Speaker:Crandall loves tech, dude.
Speaker:I'm gonna stop you from going down this rabbit hole.
Speaker:It is absolutely not Crandall.
Speaker:Oh my god.
Speaker:Oh my god.
Speaker:Okay, let's continue.
Speaker:I would appreciate if you don't put them in too much danger.
Speaker:Try to keep them alive at least.
Speaker:They are all my men.
Speaker:All my men are very wonderful people.
Speaker:I have the best men.
Speaker:And in return, when you get back here, you're going to help me with some of your mom's work.
Speaker:Yes, I said that and I said that I would also take back what I said on Johnny Hertz's radio station tomorrow.
Speaker:And you'll be doing that first before you leave, right?
Speaker:Correct.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:But in addition to you sending people with us into Septropolis, we are going to have a long talk about my parents.
Speaker:When you get back, I stick my hand out for a handshake.
Speaker:He looks you up and down and then switches his gun to his left hand and gives you a hearty, meaty paw handshake.
Speaker:It's like sandpaper.
Speaker:This is what a bear's hand would feel.
Speaker:Can I use this handshake to like try to read him to see if he was telling the truth?
Speaker:You think he's telling the truth about the agreement.
Speaker:I'm happy with that.
Speaker:Man, that's just...
Speaker:I think that's the best outcome we could have possibly gotten.
Speaker:But at the same time...
Speaker:Undoing your revolution.
Speaker:It makes me feel so dirty.
Speaker:Yeah, to undo the revolution makes me feel so dirty.
Speaker:Back at Ocean, you're standing in the doorway to the barracks and you hear, well, this is my cot right here.
Speaker:This is where I keep my favorite gun.
Speaker:And this is how well I do it, make it my bed.
Speaker:And it is very well made.
Speaker:This is quite impressive, Vesuvius, for your for getting started.
Speaker:Like you've done well for yourself.
Speaker:The shower is not as nice as the one at Crandell's Place.
Speaker:People do not clean up here as well as people did with that shower, because they can't use that super strong laser beam strength to like knock the grime off.
Speaker:I'm hoping that we can set that you're set up pretty well here and be a nice addition to Hamlet opening.
Speaker:Thank you for pointing me in this direction.
Speaker:Honestly, I think it will work out great for me.
Speaker:I do have one question, though.
Speaker:You mentioned while we were walking over here, you mentioned something about how we how Book and I have seen things in the Maelstrom.
Speaker:I don't remember ever talking to you about that.
Speaker:How do you know about our experiences with that?
Speaker:Well, when you first met me, you mentioned a run in with the wolves of the Maelstrom.
Speaker:And then you had that long-fingered monster cheese face guy.
Speaker:I assume he has roots in the psychic Maelstrom.
Speaker:Just keep an eye out for things going on here, Vesuvius.
Speaker:I will do my best.
Speaker:Ocean is going to step outside and he's going to step to he's going to step away to where Vesuvius can't see him, where it sounds like he's leaving, but he's going to turn around and looking at kind of like from around the corner, looking at Vesuvius' place and where Vesuvius at, Ocean is going to open his mind to the psychic maelstrom.
Speaker:Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker:Sorry, we were off the last couple weeks.
Speaker:As you probably heard before, my computer completely exploded, and we had to recouple everything together.
Speaker:But we are good now, and gonna be back on our regular schedule.
Speaker:All of the artwork in that cool logo are made by Brady McDonough.
Speaker:All the music and editing, except I don't want credit for this one, because there is a lot of bad shit, but it is by me, Stu Masterson.
Speaker:And Jacob, as you know him, lets his dogs click clacky toenails make noises all throughout the episode.
Speaker:Stay tuned after this outro to hear the sound I make when Jacob mentions he may have lost all of the audio.
